Christmas Time and What Else?

 Hi everyone! These last few weeks, and for a few more weeks, it has and will continue to be crazy. I have had a lot on my heart and on my mind. There are 29 days until the wedding, and I am incredibly excited yet exhausted. It has been such a fun experience planning everything and doing everything how we want. This post though will be about how I am feeling this season, and every year this time of year. I struggle with seasonal depression. When the sun sets at 4:30 or 5pm, I do not get enough sunlight. Toward the end of each semester, I hunker down in my home, studying, writing, preparing, and spending all my free time on my couch like a potato. I love the Christmas season, and even more so this year since our wedding is right after Christmas. Knowing that our Savior came to us as a baby, an innocent and vulnerable baby, is such an amazing thing to ponder. Seeing Christmas lights and carrying out traditions sparks a sense of joy in me. However, I don't always feel that joy. I sit in front of a vitamin D sunlamp every November through March. It helps me get the light that I need to keep going. I have nothing to be sad about, my life is going great, and I have a million and one things to be grateful for. But...there is this sense of tiredness, neutralness, and a lack of motivation to do the things I love. All because of the sun setting 3 to 4 hours earlier. I hate that seasonal depression comes around during the most wonderful time of the year. But it does. I have to learn to care for my mental, physical, and emotional health. That can be even harder when I am finishing up school and planning an exciting wedding! On top of that, this has been the hardest semester ever, but has also been the most academically fulfilling. So I am wavering between senses of joy, calmness, chaoticness, sadness, lack of motivation, gratefulness, and excitement. It can be mentally exhausting going through this cycle on a daily basis. However, I know our God is so incredibly good. His Son is about to be born. He is about to change the world forevermore. He has given me this great strength and sense of peace. He has put many things on my heart this year that I simply can't ignore. I wanted to be frank with you all and let you know that you are not alone. This season can be full of many emotions, and just know that taking care of yourself is the most important thing. No matter how I am feeling, there is not a day that goes by that I don't feel this sense of thankfulness and this sense of needing to praise our God for everything He has done, is doing, and will continue to do (even if some days are harder than others).

All the best and still in one piece,

Lauren